A mom reached out to thank me. 

She had watched a live video I had shared with tools to use when managing your emotions about rejection.
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​Her daughter was just denied admission into the college she was *sure* she’d get into—so sure that she didn’t apply anywhere else.
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​But she didn't get in.

And she was devastated.
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And truth be told, so was the mother.

Now what?

They knew they needed to pivot, but they were still dealing with the pain of the news.

Can you relate? 

I mean, life doesn't always go our way. In fact, we don't even always get rewarded for something we earn. It seems terribly unfair. And maybe it is. But here's what it isn't:

It isn't the end. 

The future still looks bright. It simply took an unexpected route to get to it. 

When disappointments like this occur, there are some important things to help your teen (and yourself).

1-Allow your feelings. It's OK to feel down, angry, and confused. Let it all in and feel it hard. It won't hurt you. Then decide you are ready to take action.

2-Tell your brain (which is likely freaking out about the rejection) that everything is just as it should be. There are lots of options and it can be fun figuring out a new roadmap to get to your dreams. Nothing has gone wrong.

3-Remind yourself that "not getting in" has nothing to do with your worth or your ability. This many people applied, and this many people were admitted. You weren't admitted. Period. It wasn't personal. And it doesn't mean you are "less than" those who did get in. It just means you can now pursue a different path. Not a better path. Not a worse path. Just a different path.

4-Remember that everyone's journey is unique. Maybe your sister and your brother and your cousin and your best friend all got into that college. Good for them. Now you can choose a college that will be good for you--offering you your own unique experiences that will be just what you need to reach your goals. 

5-Manage your mind about comparisons. A school is a school. It's not success. It's not fame and fortune. It's just a place of learning. Don't make it more than that. Nobody's path is better than another's. They are just different. 

Whatever you do, hold your chin high. You have nothing to be embarrassed about or to feel shame about. You are on the exact right path for you. Doesn't that feel amazing?

I thought so.

See? You got this!
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