Tuesday, March 11, 2025
My son loves to cook. And he's really good at it.
And he's pretty good about cleaning up after himself. Pretty good.
But sometimes he simply walks away, leaving a tsunami of dirty dishes, a messy stove, flour-dusted counters, and so forth (you get the picture, right?)
Yesterday he made pizza. And it was fabulous.
And he cleaned up a great deal of the mess. But . . .
That was it. He didn't finish. There was still quite a lot to take care of.
I reminded him.
And then a while later, I reminded him again.
And before he left for work, I mentioned it yet again.
Finally, right before bed, I told him I did not want to wake up to his mess.
And guess what?
I woke up to the mess!
Can you relate?
Why does this happen?
Well, quite honestly, I think it's a sign of entitlement.
And quite honestly, I think I'm part of the problem.
Why?
Because I haven't set a clear boundary and consistently followed through. I've settled for just OK when it comes to cleaning things up.
Now, there's nothing wrong with this method exactly. If I don't mind the lack of complete cleanup, that's fine. It's just that there's a bigger issue at play here.
You know what I mean.
The empowerment thing.
Cleaning up after my son at times, repeatedly reminding him to do something (some might call this nagging), settling for average effort, not following through with an outcome when he doesn't do his part--this all contributes to his behavior.
You can see it, can't you?
When I woke up to the mess this morning, I was frustrated.
I asked him why he had just ignored me consistent requests to do what he should do without being asked anyway, and this was his answer:
"I forgot."
The famous cop-out phrase kids love to use.
I didn't buy it, and I told him so. He pushed back, and I reminded him that "forgetting" happens when he doesn't do what I've asked immediately. Therefore, he has no excuse.
Thankfully he didn't argue.
And he cleaned up the mess.
But entitlement is a real thing. And I see it creeping into my home. And I even recognize that sometimes I contribute to the problem.
Not because I'm a bad mom. And not because I don't care if my kids are entitled (I do!). But because it's just easier in the moment.
The thing is, that moment only lasts a short time, and in the long run, I'm setting my kids up for failure.
A lot of parents are worried about raising entitled kids.
If that's you, don't worry. Entitlement is a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned. And as the mom, you can gain useful tools and strategies that will make all the difference!
In the meantime, you can start by simply recognizing the problem. That's the first step. And it's an important one. And here are a few more tips:
Decide on the boundaries you want to set. Allow your kids to be frustrated. Stop swooping in to save the day. Encourage problem-solving.
If you want some help, I've got you. Schedule a free chat with me.
Just click the link below.
You got this!
Certified Life Coach at
You Got This
Ever wish you were the perfect mom? What does that even mean to you? And what if you are "perfect" already because you are you. And motherhood is messy and crazy, right?
As a mother of five, I know all about messy! I also know how to find the perfect in it all so I can thrive and be who I want to be.
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